


shaken foundation

by ashinan



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Gore, Canonical Character Death, Coda, Gen, M/M, Pre-Slash, Spoilers, episode 98 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-03-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:34:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23061025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashinan/pseuds/ashinan
Summary: The battle ends.
Relationships: Fjord/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 5
Kudos: 156





	shaken foundation

**Author's Note:**

> legit the second the episode ended I was writing. this is INCREDIBLY rough, I won't lie; I haven't given it my usual rewrites and whatnot because it's a lot of emotions very fast so mistakes are all mine. it's also my first proper Caleb POV, so be gentle with me.

Rain falls in swells, deadening the world to an eerie, fuzzy black. The wind howls, a furious presence even as the last of the creatures is reduced to a puddle of smoldering goo. Magic crackles over Caleb’s tongue, under his fingernails, circling, round and round the scar on his palm. Terror blocks out the usual euphoria he basks in after a battle well fought as he flies down to where the broken, bloodied form of Fjord lays crumpled against the railing. Instinct. His feet hit the deck too hard, jarring, and he slips to his knees without hesitation. 

The sheer amount of viscera nearly undoes him. Fjord’s chest gapes, ribs fractured and shoved into the bare sight of a lung, breastbone cracked like pottery. His lax fingers barely graze the Star Razor’s hilt. Water mixes with blood, so much blood, and Caleb blames the rain for his hazy vision. Blood spreads steadily onto the deck beneath. His hands hover, unsure, terrified. The sightless, vacant gold of Fjord’s gaze neatly shatters Caleb’s façade. 

“No, no, no,” Caleb whispers, fingers trembling, wrists tense with magic that won’t, _can’t_ , help. “No, you cannot, you – _Fjord, bitte_ , no.” 

His hands finally make contact, blood on his skin as he presses hard against the worst of the wound. Not that it will do anything, can do anything. His eyes return to Fjord’s every few seconds, expectant, pleading, but Fjord remains gone. Dead. No, no, _no_. His fingers shake as he gathers up Fjord’s hand resting lax on his stomach. Tugs, demanding, even though Fjord is no longer there to answer. Vacant expression still; gone. Gods, this can’t – he digs his thumb into the matching scar on Fjord’s palm, shaking, shaking, from everything but the cold. 

“ _Bitte_ ,” Caleb gasps. A crack of thunder precedes the brilliant flash of lightning – a curse, a mockery by the gods, as it illuminates Fjord in minute detail. Enough that Caleb’s keen mind captures and imprints the image forever upon his retinas. The certainty of his death yanks the breath right out of Caleb and a low keen settles in his ears, unstoppable as he frantically pulls on Fjord once more. “You cannot. You promised to watch, to be – your story is not over. I refuse to allow it to be _over_.” 

He presses Fjord’s bloodied knuckles to his lips, holds them there as panic overtakes him. Logic fights against the tidal wave of his emotions, solutions begging at the edge of his thoughts, but he can’t – there’s nothing but static in his head, Fjord’s last words to him, his _laughter_ , ringing like klaxons in his ears. He rocks forward, head bowed as he whispers Fjord’s name against his knuckles. Pleading. He’s not a godly man, never will be, but he demands the Wildmother to intervene. 

Muffled conversation drones beneath the rains’ steady downpour. A hand brushes his shoulder and he hunches closer to Fjord, unable to blink away the vacancy in Fjord’s expression. Someone else hits the deck across from him. Shouts ring throughout the night. His magic tingles beneath his skin with no outlet. Slowly, he lifts his head when his ears finally take in the fact that someone is calling his name. 

“Caleb,” Caduceus says. He’s muted in the rain, as fuzzy as a dream. Caleb disregards him, reaching one hand out to hover over Fjord’s nose. No air. Nothing. _Gone_. “Caleb, we’ve got him. We’ve got him. He’ll be okay.” 

They should not have separated. Stupid, to think themselves safe on this ship. To think _Fjord_ safe on this ship. All the steps Caleb failed to take unspool before his eyes, culminating in the ultimate price. Caleb’s fingers brush red over Fjord’s cheek, skin ice cold from the rain, numbing pressure all Caleb can hold onto. He continues his mantra of Fjord’s name. All but drowned out beneath nature infuriated. 

A faint glow illuminates the worst of the damage and Caleb drags his gaze from Fjord’s face, from the lax jaw and deadened eyes, to the diamond hovering just above Fjord’s chest. The rain blurs everything into nonsense. Beau crouches beside Caduceus, soaked to the bone, blood trickling from a broken nose. The diamond slowly spins. Green light refracts and reflects and Caleb closes his eyes against it. Doesn’t matter. The image of Fjord brutalized plays on loop in his head.

“Come on,” Beau begs. Caleb meets her gutted gaze over Fjord’s body, a second of shared pain before Caleb can no longer hold it. Caduceus weaves his words and Caleb willingly goes deaf to them. He breathes against Fjord’s knuckles and continues that pressure against Fjord’s scar. _Their_ scar. Their fucking bond. Why wasn’t he faster? 

Magic collects in the air around them, the Wildmother’s influence swirling within the diamond, made stronger by Caduceus’ prayer. An aurora of colour shimmers and expands, slicing through the darkness with ease, capturing Caleb’s attention. Pools of green light drip, drip until they touch Fjord’s chest. The magic recoils a moment as though in shock before everything bursts into a flurry of motion. The light lengthens into ethereal tendrils of kelp and seaweed, of driftwood and golden shells. The magic breaks over Fjord’s chest in waves and Caleb forces himself to watch. 

Though none of the magic seems to stick, it repairs with furious speed. Ribs lift and snap together like puzzle pieces, jagged and rough, before smoothing out into unbroken bone. Caleb watches. The lungs inflate. The heart is hidden. Flesh creeps up and over itself, building faster and faster until it all meets in the middle in a smooth but painful scar. Caleb _watches_. The diamond spins faster. The light refracts and glows, brilliant and unknowing, a beacon of divinity tossed above their ship. With a resounding _crack!_ , the diamond shatters, the light vanishes, and the rain overtakes once more.

With a great heave, Fjord _breathes_. 

Unmitigated relief knocks the rest of Caleb’s emotions akimbo, scattering them upon the deck like glass. A sob catches on his tongue, trips out his lips as he cards bloody fingers into Fjord’s hair and bows forward, drops until their foreheads touch. _Feels_ each inhale and exhale against his lips. Fjord’s eyes blur from this close up but they move, they dilate and brighten and live, and Caleb squeezes Fjord’s hand so very tight until their scars line up. 

A groan before Fjord rasps, “Caleb?” 

“Yes, _ja_ , I am here, Fjord, I am here,” Caleb says, exhaling sharply. Fjord’s shoulders shift and a protesting noise escapes Caleb before he can quash it. A cool hand slides up Caleb’s back as Fjord’s fists his fingers in Caleb’s shirt. Caleb remains deaf to everything save for the uncertain but real catch of Fjord’s breath.

“I – Caleb?” Fjord asks again, his eyes falling closed a moment. Panic reignites. Caleb pulls back, Fjord’s name choking him, shaking fingers tapping Fjord’s cheek until Fjord blearily blinks back up at him. “I – did I die?”

“You did,” Caduceus says. Fjord tightens his hold in Caleb’s shirt and glances away. Caleb refuses to do the same. Caduceus continues, muffled. “Don’t do that again.” 

Fjord chuckles before gasping, heels thumping against the deck as he wheezes in pain. Caleb tugs and Fjord folds beneath him. Fjord leans into Caleb’s hold as he coughs, tears spilling from the corners of his eyes. Alive. So, so blissfully alive. 

Beau shoves into the space and gets her hands on Fjord’s face, thick sobs tearing out of her. “Fucking hell, Captain.” 

Fjord allows a softer laugh to leave him. His fingers squeeze Caleb’s, scars rubbing, and Caleb takes a full, sharp breath. Everything snaps back into place as he truly registers Fjord as _alive_. As it sinks in. It wars with the burned image of Fjord shattered and dead, of his life snuffed out with such finality. Caleb shudders and pulls back further. Fjord’s gaze snaps up to him as his fingers twist tighter in Caleb’s shirt. 

“Wait,” Fjord says, cuts off. Those golden eyes freeze Caleb to the spot. “Caleb.”

It isn't until Veth barrels into them that their gaze breaks. 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think I've written something this fast after an episode!!? come follow me on [my fandom twitter](https://twitter.com/ashinanfandom?s=09) (where I am crying all the time about critrole and widofjord lbr)


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